Ted Cruz Tries to Hang with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Gets Savagely Bitten On Monday night, Stephen Colbert took his audience back to ...
On Monday night, Stephen Colbert took his audience back to a simpler time by resurrecting a pop icon of the late 90s. Just one day ahead of the midterm elections, the Late Show host welcomed Triumph the Insult Comic Dogâ€"first seen on Late Night with Conan O’Brien in 1997â€"to share a special report from Texas, where the race between Ted Cruz and Beto O’Rourke has become one of the midterms’ most closely watched contests. Naturally, the cantankerous canine had plenty of words for both O’Rourke and Cruzâ€"but he saved his best digs for Cruz, and his final blow in particular was one for the ages.
Triu mph paid his first visit to O’Rourke at a rally, where he described the crowd as “a terrifying swarm of degenerate young leftists with one thing in common: they all share the same Netflix account.†And yes, he did have a couple of insults for O’Rourkeâ€"including making fun of the candidate’s past life as a musician. “If Beto wants to stop border crossings quicker than Ted Cruz,†Triumph said, “they could just play his album down there.â€
Triumph described Cruz’s rally, meanwhile, as a “Duck Dynasty cosplay convention.†The puppet, who had stalked Cruz on the campaign trail in 2016 as well, really tore into the senator, even as Cruzâ€"ever the Clinton-era comedy loverâ€"tried to play along with Triumph. “Just remember, it wasn’t the Republicansâ€"it was the Democrats that took you into the vet to get fixed. And there is freedom on the other side,†Cruz joked.
“I support spaying and neutering,†Triumph countered. “Just like Trump did to you.†Cruz was, understandably, left speechless.
Over on The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon was coincidentally staging his own blast from the past as wellâ€"by welcoming Mike Myers back as Dr. Evil. Why? Because as the villain himself put it, “Haven’t you been following the news? It’s 2018. Evil’s in right now. It’s hip! It’s like playing Fortnite while slamming a Tide Pod and doing the Shiggy Challenge.â€
Some might find it strange that two separate late-night shows found inspiration in 21-year-old pop-cultural properties on the eve of the midterms. Then again, maybe both Fallon and Colbert were simply following Jack Donaghy̢۪s immortal advice from 30 Rock: that the best way to move forward is to make it 1997 again, by science or magic.
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